The Price of War
by FireEnchantress
Summary: Commander Shepard chose Synthesis and left Garrus to deal with the consequences. It doesn't take very much time for both of them to find themselves at the bar. A short, character study-esque three-shot. Deals with feelings.
1. Shepard - We Fight or We Die

**Shepard - We Fight or We Die**

* * *

I stood for what felt like an eternity beside the glowing child, my eyes darting from the three pathways I had to choose from. It seemed ironic; I had worked so hard to change the variables; to bring together the galaxy so we'd have a greater chance at defeating the Reapers and now everything balanced on this one choice.

_Do I even have a right to make this decision?_

I knew whatever I did would change everything.

It dawned upon me that in circumstances like this, war, it might not be a surprise that the fate of the galaxy rested on this one choice. After all, it seemed like life enjoyed throwing curve balls my way.

I twisted the gun in my hand and tried to ignore the pain shooting up my arm. The glowing child, obviously some sort of AI that appears to the viewer in an innocent-like form, had persisted in saying that the best option was Synthesis. I couldn't help but agree. I did not want to agree with the evil Reaper AI but from what it had told me, Synthesis would allow me to leave this galaxy a better place.

_And wasn't that what I was sent here for._

Destroy and Control both seemed like viable options until I gave them even a grain of thought. I couldn't possibly destroy the geth; nor could I wield a power as strong as the Reapers.

Without giving the glowing child a second glance I started limping forward; towards the brilliant column of light. Everything hurt; every bone and every muscle, but I couldn't stop now.

A few paces away I dropped my gun and pushed myself as hard as I could until I broke into a run.

_Sorry mom._

My breaths came out erratically as I pumped my legs furiously, trying to build up speed.

_And dad, I'm so sorry._

I saw the brilliant beam of light grow closer and I could feel a slight warmth emanating from it.

_Garrus, I'll always be watching._

And I threw myself off of the platform and into the light. It felt like time slowed down and I was weightless, floating within the stream of warm, pure light.

This was it. I knew it. I could _feel_ it.

Then my vision blanked and I saw them. I saw those who had given their lives for this war and for me.

Anderson.

Legion.

Mordin.

Thane.

And then I saw him, with bloodied armor he was sitting on the floor of the Normandy's cargo hold. He was leaning against the wall, his sniper rifle resting beside him. His face was tilted upwards and words and lights were flashing across his visor but his eyes were closed. Garrus' mandibles twitched slightly as the ship rocked, but his eyes remained closed.

Then suddenly I was back. The light was blinding but now it was more than just white. Coming from me, like ripples in a pond, shone a green light. It filtered through the white light and spread its own colour across the beam.

I felt the light pulling at me, almost as if it were asking my permission.

_This is my purpose._

As I continued to fall I opened my arms wide and welcomed the light. It took from me, gaining the power it needed.

And slowly slowly _slowly_ as I fell I began to lose feeling.

It was over.

I could feel myself become the green light as my body ebbed and flowed into the stream of raw power.

The war was over.

And as I let the light take me fully my vision faded.

_I'll be waiting at the bar._

* * *

Written As: Viera Shepard

**A/N:** So I needed some sort of written closure after finishing Mass Effect 3. I think I'll also be writing a second chapter just to show Garrus because it was primarily leaving him that made me so sad.


	2. Vakarian - Meet Me at the Bar

**Vakarian - Meet Me at the Bar**

* * *

"- Crucible fired an enormous amount of energy -"

"- Mass Relay's are being repaired as we speak and so far we do not know the damage -"

"- nothing more than rubble is what is left of the Crucible and the Citadel -"

"- far no survivors -"

"- no survivors -"

"- did not find -"

"- survivors -"

"- Alliance and Citadel Council have released official documentation of our losses -"

"- pay homage to Commander Shepard without whom -"

"- must all thank Commander - "

"- Shepard was a hero -"

"- have not found a body but due to the enormous amount of energy fired by the Crucible it is unlikely -"

Garrus stood as the hover car swerved through the air. His eyes never left the holo screen which was constantly changing with the latest news. A strange sensation plagued his stomach and with every mention of Shepard he could feel his heart beat harder.

"This is it," Cortez called to Garrus from the driver's seat, the hover car slowing to a stop, "This is as far as Alliance allows vehicles."

Garrus nodded to Cortez and headed to the opening door, "Thanks Cortez."

Cortez's nod was lost on Garrus as he had already slipped out of the hover-car and onto the rubble beneath them. It had been weeks since the war and London was still in horrible condition. Initially the people on Earth had worked to fix the Mass Relay's before turning full attention on excavating, rebuilding and returning the rest of Earth to its former glory.

Garrus was unwilling to believe that Shepard was dead.

He had heard it from everyone, Liara, Joker, Ash - whoever was left. Every news channel spoke of how brave and heroic Commander Shepard was and how she would be honoured for centuries to come.

Garrus had to agree that Shepard had done something crazy up there. Every person he met had, just like him, green circuitry running across his or her skin. Ever since the green blast of energy encompassed the galaxy Garrus could attest that he felt stronger, healthier and more capable as a whole. He no longer needed his visor to feed him information about enemies within his vicinity or for music to play through his ears but he still wore it for comfort.

_You wouldn't kill yourself for this. _

_Yes. You would. _

He hadn't let the remaining crew of the Normandy hold a ceremony in honour of her. He just couldn't believe it.

But here, standing on the rubble of what had been London, Garrus felt a tug at his heart.

_She couldn't have survived this_.

Garrus walked forward through the rocks, avoiding the gaze of the Alliance soldiers that were stationed around the area. He just wanted to find something, something to tell him that he was right and that she wasn't dead.

It was in silence that he trudged through the rubble. With every step he could feel the circuitry within him pulse.

_Shepard what did you do?_

He climbed up a tall mountain of rocks and metal until he could see across a short expanse of London.

From that height he could see Alliance soldiers and civilians working together to bring some semblance of London back to this fragmented city. But to his surprise he could also make out within the throng of working people many turians and a few krogan. The Mass Relay in the Sol System was active so any species that had come to Earth to aid the war could leave back to their homes. However, Garrus noted that there were many of other species; even geth and some quarians, who were helping on Earth by choice. C

And he saw what he knew Shepard had seen.

He saw the chance at harmony and unity. He saw a galaxy that had once been broken become something full and whole.

And he understood the choice Shepard had to make.

_I still miss you._

* * *

Garrus stroked the golden nameplate as if it was as fragile as glass. The plate; though cold and impersonal carried so much more than it seemed. Along with the rest of the Normandy's fallen was where her memory would forever remain. The plate carried every success, failure and memory behind The Commander Shepard.

Behind him was the rest of Normandy's crew. He knew that all of them were grieving as he was. She had been more than a Commanding Officer to all of them. She was a headstrong leader, a friend, a sister, a mother figure, a voice of reason, _a lover._

Shepard was so much more than the world would ever know.

Garrus pressed it gently against the wall, directly under Captain Anderson's plate. It remained there even after he pulled his hands away, shining under the pale white lights of the Normandy's crew deck.

Commander Shepard.

_I'll meet you at the bar Shepard, I promise._

* * *

Written as: Viera Shepard

**A/N: And this has turned into more than a two chaptered thing. It took a life of it's own. The next chapter is the end. Again; this is just for closure of some sort. Do tell me what you think if you can. **


	3. There's No Shepard Without Vakarian

**There's No Shepard Without Vakarian **

* * *

Garrus wasn't prepared for the brilliant light that near blinded him. With his perfect optics, the light seemed to burn right into his retina. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind the light faded and Garrus saw himself on an empty street; roads branching off at certain intervals.

He moved to get his spare medi-gel packet from a storage pocket in his armour but only reached soft fabric. Garrus made a surprised sound at the back of throat as he realized that he had none of his armor on, but instead his casual blue and green civvies. Quickly he felt for his sniper rifle at his back and was shocked to find that it wasn't there.

And then, like a bucket of cold water feel over him, Garrus realized what had happened.

He was dead.

It only mildly shocked him. He had been quite prepared to die when he took the mission and it wasn't quite different from what he had imagined so it didn't faze him much.

Garrus started walking, rationalizing that since he was dead there was probably no need to scope out the area before casually walking through. It looked harmless anyway.

As he continued walking Garrus could faintly make out bright neon lights flashing at a building up ahead. As he neared it he could make out two bouncers in front of the doors and the neon lights spelling out the word Elixir. Garrus couldn't help but smirk as he walked up to the doors, it was quite obviously the only bar in his vicinity.

He walked up to the doors and was pleasantly surprised when one of the bouncers, a krogan, opened the old-fashioned door and gestured him in. He stepped in and was instantly greeted by dim lights and a deep bass echoing throughout the room.

The bar itself was on the lower level, where the club extended to multiple levels above. Two twisting staircases at either end of the first level led to what seemed to be a bright dance floor. Garrus could tell that there were many people up above - dancing - but the club itself wasn't what interested him.

Directly in front of him was the bar; there were about six or seven barstools directly in front of the bartender and multiple tables and chairs in the surrounding area. Garrus approached the bar slowly; eyes swivelling across the occupants of the bar.

Then he saw her and he could feel a warmth spread through him. Her back was to him so all he could see was her hair, spread freely across her back unlike her usual hairstyle. He was so sure it was her, only she could make him feel like that.

"Shepard."

He whispered it so softly that it was lost among the beat of the music and yet she immediately straightened her back as if she heard it.

And she turned back, a confused expression on her face until her eyes met his.

The skin around her eyes crinkled as she smiled wider than he had ever seen her smile. She left her drink at the table and slipped off her stool.

Garrus could say, without a doubt, that he was the happiest he had ever been when she walked over and wrapped her arms around him.

"Garrus," Shepard breathed against him, "I can't believe you're here."

Garrus wrapped his long arms around her; pressing her gently against him and feeling at peace.

"Told you I'd meet you at the bar," He answered and he gently nudged the side of her head with his mandible.

Shepard pulled away from him and stood there; the smile still bright on her face. She looked years younger than he had ever seen her.

She fumbled with her hands until she grabbed both his hands in hers, "Come on, the drinks won't wait forever." And she pulled him towards the bar where an asari bartender stood.

"I think they can wait a little," Garrus retorted lightly before pulling her back to him. He placed his hands around her waist and resisted the urge to pull her against him like before.

He wanted to talk to her, to tell her of everything that had happened, to let her know what feats she accomplished and to tell her that she had chosen well. He wanted her to know of all the misery she had left him to deal with and he wanted her to know of all the happiness and joy that the galaxy was filled with.

However, all that came from him was, "I missed you."

Shepard nodded simply, her hands reaching up for his face, "I know." She ran her hands across his mandibles and relaxed her hands against his chest, "I saw."

Garrus found his voice thick with emotion when he spoke next, "I loved you. I still love you." He faltered slightly when he saw tears fall down Shepard's cheeks.

"I'm here at the bar," Shepard responded, trying to mask her tears by injecting her voice with humour, "I wouldn't be if I wasn't waiting for you." She made to brush a sleeve across her face but stopped when Garrus leaned down and pressed his mandible to her tear streaked, wet cheek.

She responded by wrapped her arms around his bent head and holding him against her. She breathed deeply and though she spoke softly through the loud music Garrus could hear her perfectly, "I love you Garrus Vakarian. Death separated us the first time but now we have forever."

They released each other after an unquantifiable amount of time and Garrus tenderly brushed the stray tears on Shepard's face before pulling her back towards the bar, "You're right, let's get some drinks."

Shepard allowed him to lead her back to the bar and waited while the asari bartender mixed an oddity of coloured liquids and handed one glass to either of them.

As the pair settled together in the back of the bar, against soft wall seats, Shepard couldn't help but feel a sense of peace that she hadn't had since she arrived here.

It had been a long wait – or a short wait, depending on how you look at it. Now the wait was over. The wait was worth it; watching the galaxy gain a new understanding of life was unbelievably rewarding for Shepard. But now she was ready to step away from having responsibility over an entire galaxy.

She would always watch and aid the galaxy to the best of her abilities. Now she also had Garrus to help her.

But right now; she just wanted to rest with him.

* * *

Written as: Viera Shepard

**A/N: Alright so that's that. This turned out to be the perfect way for me to get my closure. Feel free to let me know what you think about this piece of writing AND tell me what you did to gain some closure after your Shepard's death (or close to dead state with the destroy+high EMS ending). **


End file.
